I believe our society's understanding of Autism could be turned on its head with a better understanding of the variety of traits we as PDD NOS (Optimum Functioning) Autistics possess. The DSM-V and 2016 ICD Codes for HFA and PDD NOS do not really do us justice since practitioners, clinicians and laypeople have preconceived notions of what Autism looks like. Autistic people are stero-typed as not being able to communicate with others, not able to look people in the eyes when talking, seem to be in their own world, limited in what they discuss and exhibiting out of sync body mechanics.
It is no wonder only a fraction of the people are diagnosed properly. The populations overlooked are girls and Adults. Those who seem to be given a diagnosis are young, male boys which happens to be the same population Austrian-American Psychiatrist, Leo Kanner discovered six decades ago.
Why are is it so hard for physicians and psychologists to detect Autistic/PDD NOS traits? Some of us are willing to help them by bringing some of our symptoms to their attention. Unfortunately, they are still caught up with those traits mentioned above and will remark, "I see you communicating with me just fine, you look me in the eyes when we talk, you do not appear as though you are in your own world nor do you seem to do awkward things with your body".
There are many aspects those with PDD NOS have and I would like to share a story about an area of my social life that has been affected. Later I will write about other traits I suffer from such as motor skill coordination dysfunction, being quirky with a silly sense of humor, thinking in images and not words, and having a tendency to make everything much more complicated that it probably should.
I am a newly, self-diagnosed, High-Functioning Autistic, adult female. I would say PDD NOS since I land right on the infamous ASD radar belonging to the Autistic Spectrum Disorder. For some reason our medical and mental health communities are ill-informed forcing many of us to diagnose ourselves.
Since I was little, I have felt different from other girls. On the outside I appear normal, in fact I was in a Miss Teen Pageant, VP of my senior class, Editor of my HS yearbook and an alumni of a prestigious sorority at a hard to get into university.
To most people I came across chill and kind of quiet. Since I can remember, I have felt high-strung, tense, nervous and sad. It seemed as though many people made comments or had opinions on what I said or did which caused me to be uber self conscious. Other times, I felt ignored and dismissed so I would do what I could to please others as a way to get along in life.
Being very nice and complimenting girls was the way I thought I could make friends. Following the rules and doing what my parents, teachers, coaches, group leaders requested was what I thought would prevent me from being criticized. When girls would make comments to me, I found I was too afraid to disagree with them or have my own opinion. I was fearful that if I said something they disagreed with I would have to go through the anxiety of defending my beliefs and thoughts which sounded terrifying at the time.
Okay so I seem to be getting along with a new friend who happens to be a girl and we hang out after school, maybe catch a movie, now what? I don't know what else to talk with her about. If she gets too comfortable with me she will be at liberty to say whatever she wants about what I am or am not doing or saying and I won't have any comebacks. My feelings will get hurt, I won't want to talk nor hang out with her anymore anyway so let's not even go there.
This cycle continued on and still does - I will be 50 in October.
This cycle continued on and still does - I will be 50 in October.
